Comments on: The Company You Keep

By: stylock

stylock — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 20:35:57 +0000

I appreciate the comment – and there are people that you should be honest with. You bring up a great class of individuals – people whose performance you are entrusted to appraise because they work for you, with you, or lead you. Not only do you need to build and maintain a relationship with these people, your life will be a whole lot better if you all help each other.

In general though, the person that you’re not willing to accept as a connection is more likely an acquaintance.

And how much do you owe this individual?

And what if they react badly?

One thing I’ve picked up on is that other people, especially people with whom I don’t have a great relationship with, are not necessarily open to this sort of exchange.

And so – I reserve my attempts at teaching for those that express an interest. It’s just not effective trying to teach people that don’t think they need to learn anything;-)

The fact that LinkedIn does not have a response of “I know this person, but choose not to connect at this time” means that we are shoe-horned into trying to make the choices available work.

It also happens that I’m asked this most often by people who would like to avoid confrontation;-)

Thanks for commenting!
steve

By: J

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:54:00 +0000

What ever happened to good old-fashioned HONESTY??? Letting someone know where they stand helps both of you grow from the experience. Treat it like a performance appraisal… the under-performer should welcome the feedback if they are truly a professional. And you will learn more about yourself and why the person was drawn to you in the first place. I’ve never been a fan of avoiding confrontation. Meet it head on and move on. Let them know honestly why you are not willing to accept their invitation. It will all be forgotten and/or appreciated sooner that way.

By: stylock

stylock — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 10:31:44 +0000

Thanks for sharing the experience Nicky. It sounds like your patience was tested;-)

steve

By: Nicky

Nicky — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:32:22 +0000

I once got an invitation to connect from someone I didn’t know. I scratched my head for ages wondering if in fact I did know them (and had somehow forgotten) but came up blank. I didn’t know them and declined. That didn’t stop them sending me an email via LI with their resume, asking me to introduce them to any hiring managers for a job.

Not wanting to be rude i replied and said they should apply for jobs via the public job board (they’d obviously seen my work, position and connections etc). Instead, they sent another email giving me more background and telling me they were looking for a job and a referral in XX department!.. Anyway, this time I was more blunt. I said I would not refer them because I didn’t know who they were and I never refer people I don’t know… I think they got the message. That, or they went to bother someone else.